How to change your worst habit

>> with ways to break those bad habits you have and have been trying for years. biting your nails, swearing, there's still hope.

>> leslie jane seymour , "more" magazine's editor in chief along with rebecca gladding co-author of "you are not your brain." taking control of your life.

>> hello, ladies.

>> so of us try, we bite our nails or crack our knuckles and fail at trying to correct it. what's wrong?

>> a bridge too far. you go for everything. you want to finish it that one time, new year's resolution, never doing it again. you have to say, okay, maybe i'm never going to not eat a french fry again, i'm just not ordering the supersize.

>> hoda is unable to do.

>> when it comes to food --

>> french fries in particular.

>> in particular. you're right.

>> small steps. baby steps that you can actually accomplish.

>> but sometimes -- isn't it trouble sometimes you've been doing it forever? i have friends with very short nails so they bite them.

>> ratty. ratty.

>> ratty. anyway, they've done it for so many years, the idea of unringing that bell sounds hard.

>> absolutely. it's rooted in the brain. the more we do the same behavior over and over the stronger it gets in the brain and harder to break.

>> but we're born with our brain. the brain god gave us.

>> by focusing our attention different ways. the more you do a new habit, a healthy habit, that gets ingrained in your brain and what your brain does when you're stressed out.

>> she's going to like a carrot better than a french fry ?

>> no. no.

>> but she'll go to it if she teaches her brain that's sha what she wants to do.

>> i heard it takes 30 days to change a pattern but 90 days to actually stop a habit, which is really long when you think about it. you really have to --

>> not for meredith on the cleanse.

>> you have to stay at it far long time.

>> it's effort and attention. what it's about is changing the brain pathways. the more it's tied to an emotional trigger, the harder it is to change.

>> you have to identify what the trigger is.

>> exactly. find the trigger. i was going to say for you guys, the hypothetical, you might have a friend with whom you party too much or drink too much, not saying anybody, but you might not want to see her every day but one day a week.

>> we have to see each other every day.

>> exactly.

>> is a lot of it who you are around? say you're quitting smoking but a friend of yours smokes.

>> impossible. when they pull out a cigarette, it's impossible for you to stop.

>> you're not going to give up your friendship.

>> you might have to power down some of those friendships far while and find some new things, find people with better habits that can be part of it. i've got a wonderful trigger. i carry this because i have a terrible habit of biting my lip a lot and it's so unconscious that i can't stop. the only thing --

>> pain?

>> a little pain. very minor. this is a hair scrunchy. and this one --

>> not bad. you bite the inside of your mouth --

>> it's a habit. i don't even know i'm doing it.

>> you're snapping that?

>> i'm snapping this like that. it just wakes me up because i don't even know that i'm doing it because it's actually a dangerous habit to have. this one's a fancy one.

>> i think sometimes when i'm bored, like i'll do a lot of those things, like i'll have the whole bag of doritos because i'm sitting in front of the tv and "law and order" is on. if i had something to do --

>> get away from the doritos, hoda.

>> don't have it in the house.

>> why? i like it in the house.

>> that's her answer to everything in life. order.

>> order a milky way .

>> one.

>> for delivery.

>> when we talk about our brains being hardwired, can you really kind of undo that sort of thing truly?

>> you can.

>> you said 60 days, 90 days .

>> well, you absolutely can. i mean, what you have to do is engage the frontal cortex part of your brain rather than the --

>> how do you do that?

>> you pay attention . just like with your rubber band --

>> that's what it's doing, right?

>> the point is it's giving you a focus of attention so you stop whatever the bad beshaver and start doing the new one. but you've got to teach yourself do it. just like if you're learning to ride a bike. you have to think about learning how to ride the bike first. once you've learned how to ride the bike, it's automatic. that's that habit center.

>> and buddy system is so important. somebody who will help you.

>> if you're biting your nail, they'll put your hand on you.

>> go after them.

>> down to the quick.

>> get involved. get involved.

>> but that's good. even a spouse -- my husband and i remind each other when we're doing something bad. we're like -- because you don't even know you're doing it.

>> not that kind of bad.