Networking: How men and women differ
>>> if you think we've come a long way, baby, just wait until you hear the stories some women reveal about what really goes on in the working world.
>> ivan mizener is the chairman and founder of business organization , bni, as well as the co-author of " business networking and sex," not what you think. and paula williams is a lonely workplace expert. how do you follow that? we're happy you're here.
>> thank you. me, too.
>> a lot of this is about networking. i think a lot of us find us in a position where you have to network, you have to go into a room with strangers and meet people. it makes a lot of -- i know me and some other women uncomfortable initially.
>> i'm sure. one of the reasons is the networking disconnect where people show up at networking events and they're there to sell. if you ask them, i'm here to buy, nobody's there to buy. so after trying to sell and not build relationships --
>> like a competitiveness instead of cooperativeness.
>> the collaboration is key. and women are better at it than men.
>> why is that, ivan ?
>> it's based on a survey we did of 12,000 business professionals and found out that women were more likely to be collaborative, to be relationan and men were more likely to be transactional, hi, my name's ivan , what's your business?
>> hoda, your point, the word networking scares us. schmoozing and --
>> yeah. phony.
>> yeah. when in essence i want's about meeting people and finding a genuine connection, learning something about this group of people, you know, whether you check in on linkedin, whatever that is, so you know something about them so it feels natural. if it feels more natural to you, it will to them.
>> are men not treating women well? the way we teased, we said you won't believe story.
>> absolutely. we had open-ended questions and a thousand responses. three women in a row said i hate networking events. they hit on you. three in a row. then the fourth one, the guy, says i love the networking events. a great way to pick up chicks. on behalf of men everywhere, i'd like to apologize.
>> that's never going to change, though, no matter how much enlightenment they get.
>> oh, yeah.
>> just better at it.
>> oh!
>> some women wear phony wedding bands because they don't want to be hit on.
>> several women said they wore wedding rings , they were married to not get hit on.
>> that doesn't usually stop men, does it?
>> no.
>> men are more likely to be guilty of premature solicitation. i want to say that three times. that's where they meet somebody and go right into the business or are trying to make a connection in some way, whereas the women don't do that.
>> when you brag about how great you are, guys seem to think that's a great thing, hey, i've done x, y, and z. usually every woman in the circle is looking around going, get a load of him, can you believe it? should women be more that way?
>> i think at the end of the day when you're authentically talking about what it is you're contribute, if you love the job you do or the business you've started and you're genuinely asking questions about the person in return. that is two-way exchange. it's not hey, look at me. i know something a little about you.
>> it comes off as phony.
>> women are better at that, making that relationship. where they're weak and where it came up in the survey was they're not as good at asking for the sale.
>> we talk act it all the time.
>> getting to business.
>> what do we do instead? dance around snilt.
>> one person said i hate going to networking events because women spend 90% of their time talking about their families and kids and don't get to business.
>> women want to offer something first and then ask. sort of what can i do to help you?
>> in the survey, here's the beauty of it, women actual lynette worked less, spent less time networking but generated more business than men by a substantial amount.
>> because of their relationships.
>> because they're relational. that beats transactional every day of the week.
>> once again, we win.
